I felt lost, like a man with no country. i don't have a home I can go to, or money to stay in a hotel. Chris was really great to let me crash in his guestroom until I could find a place to stay in, or until I was financially capable to afford my own.
Sitting on the bed of his guestroom, I prioritised my plans of action. Firstly, of course to head back home to get my clothes. Home, I had no idea how my family would react when they see me. I have brought them so much despair and hurt, I just hope they would forgive me. I was young, I didnt know the importance of my family.
I changed into Chris's clothes, dolled myself up a little and got on a cab. My heart was pounding with apprehension as I got closer to my destination. It's been so long since I have been to this building.
I stood in front of the door, but I couldn't bring myself to knock. I could imagine my dad chasing after me with a butcher knife while cursing me to drop dead. Those weren't good times at all. I never blamed my dad for reacting this way, I was the black sheep in the family. I just hope they would forgive me and see that I am a changed man.
'Dave? Is that you?'
'Hey mom, I'm back. Can I come in..?'
My mom's eyes got teary as she ran towards me and gave me a hug.
'It's been so long since I have seen you, you have lost so much weight.'
I was choked with sorrow, I never knew how to manage things when my mom cries. Her tears, her melancholy, they brought a major heartache to me.
'Is dad around, there are so much I want to apologise to him about..'
'Your dad... He didn't make it. He lost the fight with cancer, but he left you something. It's in your room.'
I couldn't hold back my tears when I heard that terrible news, I didn't have the chance to say goodbye. I didn't have the chance to show him that I have changed. I didn't have the chance to tell him I'm sorry for all that I've done...
I held up the letter left on my desk, tears flowing like a water tap. I love you dad, I'm sorry for everything...
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