Anxiety grew in me as I looked at the scratches I made on the wall. 1734 strokes, which means I am just one night away from tasting the sweet air of freedom. I have waited 5 years just for this day, suffered 5 tormenting years of solitary confinement from the outside world.
The injustice dealt to me, I have learnt to let it go. My time here has taught me that hatred only leads to more hatred, but still, I had to know why he did it to me. My best friend whom I treated as part of my family, the one I have always referred to proudly as my elder brother, the very same person who got me into this plight.
Bryan was the very first friend I had, the very first person I could trust. I was always bullied by others as a kid and he managed to save me from all that misery. He taught me how to protect myself and has always been like a big brother of mine. Whenever I was in trouble, he would rush down just to help me out. I was thankful to him, grateful, and at one point or another, I wanted to be just like him.
I used to question why he treated me with such kindness, and his reply was filled with regret and forlornness.
'My younger brother was just like you, young and gullible, always getting himself into trouble. The resemblance both of you have is uncanny.'
'Really? What is he doing now?'
'Let's just say... He is up in the sky dancing with the angels above.'
'I'm sorry man, I didn't know...'
'It's cool. It was my mistake to begin with... If only I managed to rush down in time...'
Sensing the grief in his voice, I didn't want to probe further. After I knew about his brother, I understood why he was willing to do so much for me. Perhaps I was filling the empty void of his life as his deceased brother, even so, I was contented to have known him.
The inmates here used to ask me what I'm in for, and my reply to them was always the same.
'Me? I'm in for a wrong judgement I made.'
Betrayal from the person you trust the most is like taking a knife, stabbing it into your heart and digging your heart out when you are alive. I don't need to take any revenge to ease the anger in me, I just needed to know why. Was everything just an act to pull me in? Was I just a puppet you can use and throw whenever you like?
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